IMHO In My Humble Opinion

I doubt anybody who knows me (or has read much of this blog) is surprised to learn that I'm happy about yesterday's decision ruling Proposition 8 unconstitutional under the federal constitution. It seems to me that in any fair and just society, it ought not be possible for the majority to take away rights from a minority, unless there's a compelling reason to do so.

Somehow, I've managed to get on the National Organization for Marriage's mailing list, and of course they're angry about what happened yesterday. They fairly regularly say things that just don't make sense to me, so I'll start with a quote from Brian Brown talking about the advertisements the Yes on 8 campaign ran:

This was the ad's message: Gay marriage would be taught in the schools, whether parents like it or not. Is this true or not true?

The fact of the matter is that marriage between people of the same gender already exists. It's part of our reality already. It's the way that some people talk about their relationships even when the law doesn't recognize it (in some cases, religions are already marrying same-sex partners, and lamenting the fact that the law hasn't caught up.) I'm very good friends with a couple of lesbians who got married in Illinois a few years ago. From that point on, they started calling themselves married and referring to each other as wives, and the people around them (their friends and families) generally follow suit.

And even if somehow California's state law trumps that reality, it's still a reality that there are quite a few kids in classrooms that have two mothers or two fathers. While in a couple of states it's not legal for gay couples to adopt, even in some of those states there are ways for enterprising gay people to have children; it's a fact of life these days that there are family units headed by parents of the same gender.

Don't we want our schools to teach reality?

Of course, the arguments that schools shouldn't teach about realities that parents find unsettling are a bit pervasive from many of these people. To overgeneralize and lump them together, they tend to ignore the outcomes of science (a lot of these people are global warming deniers, or think that evolution is the wrong thing to teach in schools), they don't believe that comprehensive sex education is a good idea (in spite of peer-reviewed research that shows that abstinence-only education doesn't really work all that well), and they want to eliminate any sort of suggestion that being gay is part of the spectrum of natural behavior (in spite of evidence that therapy to change sexual orientation doesn't work and is harmful, and that there are plenty of examples in both history and biology of same-sex attractions).

It's a bit dishonest for supporters of gay marriage to say that the existence of gay marriage won't be brought up in school. But it's completely honest that the kinds of things that the opponents of marriage equality want to keep out of school are a bit more far-reaching than marriage: they don't want kids exposed to the idea that it's okay to end up in one of these relationships.

I guess if you believe that therapy to change sexual orientation works, then there's a risk of exposing kids to "teh gay" like this. But here's a news bulletin that NOM and the rest of the proponents of Proposition 8 don't seem to get: that sort of therapy doesn't work. The studies they cite to show that it does work are based on self-reports rather than observations of behavior, and tend to be short-term studies, and aren't inclusive of a representative sample of patients. And aren't peer reviewed. On the other hand, as some evidence that these programs don't work, we see plenty of advocates for them doing things like hiring rent boys to handle their luggage and provide erotic massage, or being sighted in gay bars.

Here's my point of view: exposure to the concept of same-sex attraction doesn't have the ability to turn straight people gay any more than exposure to the concept of opposite-sex attraction turns gay people straight. That's just not how it works. Sure, societal pressure and self-denial can get people in relationships that they otherwise wouldn't get into, but that really only explains gay people getting into unhappy relationships, not straight people turning gay. However, exposure to the fact that gay people exist does increase the chance that when someone realizes that he's gay, he won't fall into depression or engage in self-destructive behavior.

The ads the Yes on 8 campaign ran did suggest that passing proposition 8 would "protect children." Unfortunately, it seems that all it does is "protect" a worldview that gay people are a threat to children somehow, and this is something that the evidence doesn't bear out.

I'm not sure the following message makes sense in the context of a ballot referendum, but here's what I think was true: Proposition 8 really did have nothing to do with schools. Schools were (and are) going to teach about the fact that same-sex relationships exist, because that's part of the reality in which they exist, and when kids ask questions about things, most teachers will give an honest answer. Proposition 8 doesn't change this fact. But what's really true is that the opponents of marriage equality seem to be hell-bent on preventing schools from teaching about the facts of the world around them, as though somehow ignoring certain facts will make them go away.

(Small aside: I haven't posted anything in a long time. This doesn't mean that this domain is for sale; I use the server for more than just my blog. And if it were for sale, I'd likely charge something greater than the market rate for it, so you're adequately warned.)

One of the activities I've been getting up to for the last couple of years is advising groups on how to do advocacy and engagement using online tools. I suppose I could say I advise on "new media" or "social networking," but neither seems entirely accurate. Still, if it's helpful for giving an idea of what I've been doing, there are some buzzwords for you.

An idea that's been kicking around in my brain for a while is that I could post a bit on some of my pet peeves with how people use these technologies. And today, I got a couple of examples in my inbox, so let's get started.

Subject: over 2000 people...

havent replied on this facebook invite

AND you are one of them....

it isnt hard, just click yes, no, or maybe (they offer "maybe" people) ;-)

If you are coming, register for YOUR ticket at (link omitted)

Now, there are a few problems with this message.

• It's not friendly to SMS devices.
• It's missing information.
• It's trying to shame me.
• (not clear from the message above) Message duplication.
• Grammar? Punctuation?

Let's go a bit more in-depth on these.

It's not friendly to SMS devices.

Here's what it looks like on my phone:

(name) to you:
over 2000 people... 
havent replied on this
facebook invite

AND you are one of them....

it isnt hard, just...(reply "n" for next)

I don't recognize what event you're talking about from your name. Facebook's SMS feature is actually very bad about giving context, but that just means that the people who send these messages have the responsibility to get the information formatted properly. If your name doesn't give me enough context (and apparently this message went to 2000 people, so the sender doesn't know them all personally), then mention the name of the organization and/or event in the first 100 characters.

It's missing information.

What event are you talking about? (That's visible up above where the message is, but often events have nondescriptive names.) What organization is this event for? (I happen to know it from the name of the poster, but I was actually receiving his messages for a few months before I figured it out.)

All of this information is discoverable with a few clicks, but every time you force someone to take an action to discover something, you'll lose a portion of your audience.

It's trying to shame me.

There might be reasons that I think are justified for you to shame me. Not replying to a Facebook invitation isn't one of them. This invitation, as far as I can tell, is being sent to me because I joined a group on Facebook. (I have since removed myself from this group's membership, in large part because of what I'm writing about in this post.) I typically don't join too many groups, but that doesn't mean that the groups I do join should feel free to inundate me with invitations (many of which aren't in geographical areas that are feasible for me to get to). And I'm more discerning about which groups I join than many of the people I talk to who use Facebook.

The fact that this sender seem exasperated with the lack of response makes me question whether he has reasonable expectations about Facebook. And from the volume of messages I've received from him, it's not from lack of experience.

Message duplication.

A message that was very similar (although not identical) was sent within minutes of this one. It didn't reach my inbox for a couple of hours, and I wasn't checking my e-mail at the time, so they were part of the same thread. This is really more of an annoyance than anything else: if you're going to spam me, why are you spamming me twice within a few minutes?

Grammar? Punctuation?

I realize this is a bit hard to get right especially in the context of constraining a message to be reasonable for an SMS message, but that's no excuse for improperly using punctuation, spelling words incorrectly, and avoiding capital letters. Contractions have apostrophes in them. Sentences begin with capital letters. Commas are great for getting rid of ambiguous sentences.

I recently got the following comment, and it asks a few questions. Since this comment wasn't all that related to the post it appeared next to, I thought I'd just create a new post for this reply.

Hey, just wanted to thank you for your blog and especially your post on Chaos Theory- it's exceptionally clear, and has some really eyepopping info. The pics from your trips in China are pretty cool too.
Since you're linked to Harvey Mudd, I'm going to assume that you go/went there. What's it like? (Classes, atmosphere?) What kind of people would benefit the most from going there? I'm a few years from having to apply, but I've heard some raves and a few less enthusiastic opinions, so can you help?
Oh yeah, on the topic of marriage equality (or the lack thereof)- as an Iowan, there was a huge (by Iowa standards) throng of people celebrating when same-sex marriage was legalized; we're not all cantankerous conservatives who can't spell. As far as my age group goes, most people at my school accept people who are out, but gay is still a common insult and guys who act effeminate are ostracized.
Fajitas are delicious =D. Keep posting!

Thanks for the encouragement. I'm hoping to post some pictures from my trip to England before too long, so hopefully I'll be able to keep that up too.

I graduated from Harvey Mudd College with a degree in math and computer science in 2000. I've also been involved with the alumni association and served a term on the Board of Trustees, so I've been pretty involved even after graduating. It's a pretty intense science and engineering school, but one of the things that makes it unique is that everyone is required to take a third of their classes in the humanities and social sciences.

I'd say that if you're pretty sure you want to go into a technical field that Harvey Mudd is a good school for you. When I started at Mudd, I thought I wanted to study Physics. My second choice was Computer Science, and my third choice was Math. My fourth choice at the time probably would have been music (and that would've been hard to do at Mudd, at least as a major.)

One of the big distinguishing characteristics Mudd has is that it's a small school. That does mean that there's a bit of a lack of diversity that you might find at a bigger institution, which is mitigated a bit by the fact that it's one of the Claremont Colleges and you can get access to all the classes and activities going on at all 5 undergraduate colleges. It's not like going to UC Berkeley, though, where you might find a full set of graduate level courses (if that's the sort of thing you're looking for.) The advantages this gives is immense, though: the professors not only know their students, they actively do research with them. I did research with three different professors while I was there, something which would have been unlikely at a larger institution.

When I compared Caltech and Harvey Mudd after I was accepted but still hadn't decided, I visited both schools. Caltech students were only happy about the visiting prospects because the food was slightly better (ignoring some of the cool things that were going on, like Nobel Laureates coming and speaking... Even though the students weren't trying to impress us, the school was...) On the other hand, Harvey Mudd students were actively trying to figure out fun things to do in the spare time in our schedule. You'll be spending a lot more time with other students than anything else, so make sure not to ignore student culture.

As far as Iowa and marriage equality goes, I've been to Iowa a few times, and I'm not surprised that it's one of the first states to recognize the rights of gay people. I'm just hoping it stays that way: out of state groups are trying to funnel money into Iowa to elect homophobic senators. As much as I believe that the people of Iowa are sensible when it comes to these question, I also believe that the homophobic organizations putting money into races like this have figured out pretty effective ways to muddy the waters and get their base out one election day, so if they're pouring this much money into a race, I start to worry.

I've been spending a lot of time thinking about and working on marriage equality recently. Enough so that at last night's dinner party I stepped out for a phone call on the topic for about half an hour. (Did I mention I was throwing the dinner party?) Anyhow, the latest news on that:

• in California, SF is joining the marriage lawsuit but ACLU, NCLR, and Lambda Legal aren't
• Maine is gearing up to be a big battle. If we want to avoid the whole "oops, we forgot that we need to raise money early in order to buy TV ads" thing we had in California last year, we should be donating to the campaign (there's a matching grant until Friday, so your money counts double right now) and if you want to help out in person, they want people to visit Maine on Volunteer Vacations to help out on the ground.

But this isn't a post about marriage, I was going to talk about food! Last night's dinner party had a Mexican theme, and my friend Michael came over to help me cook all afternoon. Everything on the menu was made from scratch (and where we could, we bought everything at the local greenmarket.)

• Ground Ostrich taco meat
• Refried black beans (not vegetarian: refried beans are so much better with bacon grease added)
• Salsa Verde (hot, see below) and Pico de Gallo (mild)
• Corn and Flour tortillas (fresh made tortillas are delicious.)
• Tortilla chips, made from the corn tortillas
• Chicken fajitas

And just in case someone wants to make nuclear-hot salsa verde, here's how I did it (the recipe is loosely based on ones I found online.)

Nuclear Salsa Verde

Unwrap and simmer one pound tomatillos in boiling water for about 5 minutes. (They should darken in color.) In a food processor, combine the tomatillos, 1 handful chopped onion, 1 handful chopped cilantro, 1 tbsp lime juice, a pinch of sugar, 1 habanero pepper, and 1 serrano pepper. Chill in the refrigerator.

It's a pretty simple recipe, although it's a bit too spicy. Last time I made it, I used half a habanero and 1.5 pounds of tomatillo, and it wasn't nearly spicy enough. Next time I'll definitely tone it down a bit, but I was looking to make something very hot, and it's almost there. I'm thinking that 1.5 pounds of tomatillo with that much pepper is probably the right answer.

(If you really need exact numbers in your recipes, where I said "handful" substitute "1/3 cup", but I didn't measure exactly.)

Today was the last real day of the tour. Today was basically a free day, and the tour guides gave us the option of taking a ride out into the countryside to visit Lake Yamdrok. At 14500 feet, it's one of the highest lakes in the world, and it's a Buddhist holy lake.

The weather in the morning was rainy, and as we passed through Kambala Pass (approximately 16000 feet elevation) we could barely see outside the bus, so I was worried we weren't going to get much of a view. Once we descended below the cloud layer on the other side of the pass, however, we got an amazing view of the lake:Hilltop Over Lake Yamdrok

We spent about an hour hanging out at the lake, which was pretty peaceful. The clouds and mist kept rolling over the mountain peaks, and the view was spectacular. I think this picture captures the moment perfectly:
Looking Over Lake Yamdrok

On the way back to Lhasa, the rain had subsided, and people were out working the fields again. Here's a shot I took on the way back:Tibetan Countryside

I spent the evening out with a few other Mudders, because it was my last chance before heading home (I'm flying back a few hours earlier than everyone else, which means I'm flying all the way back to Beijing tonight while they have an overnight in Chengdu.) This will likely be my last post until I get back to the US, but it has been an incredible trip.

Apparently, on rainy days, my camera doesn't make it out nearly as often. I only snapped 10 pictures today (the first week I averaged close to 150 per day.)

I started the day by going out with a few people to the street market. This time we actually went into a couple of the shops rather than simply looking at the street stalls. I saw a couple of stores that I think I'd like to go back to, and some of my friends made some pretty good purchases.

Lunch was at a Mongolian hot pot restaurant. This was pretty similar to the last hot pot experience, although with different things to cook in the broth (pork meatballs, spam, vegetables, and quail eggs).

After lunch we went to the Sera Monastery:
Sera Monastery

Unfortunately, due to the rain, the debates that usually happen in the afternoon were cancelled, so we didn't get to see the Buddhist monks debating the finer points of philosophy. Still, this monastery was even more impressive than Drepung, so it was well worth the short drive out there.

Dinner this evening was a mostly western meal (spaghetti and pizza, in addition to the curry and samosas). It was fine, but if we were going to diverge from all Chinese all the time (with a smattering of Tibetan) I'd rather try some food from some other nearby culinary tradition. We're so close to India that there's got to be good Indian food somewhere... At least it made some members of the group happy; I guess not everyone is as happy with Chinese food as I am.

This morning's first stop was at the Winter Palace of the Dalai Lama. It's a huge building on a hill in the middle of Lhasa, which otherwise seems mostly flat:
Winter Palace of the Dalai Lama

It's a bit of a hike up to the top, since there are a lot of steps, and they only let you stay inside for an hour. I don't have any pictures of the inside because photography wasn't allowed. The most impressive part was the tombs of the Dalai Lamas, which used tons of gold and thousands of precious jewels. On the way out, I got this picture of the clouds over the mountains in the distance:
Cloud over Lhasa

After lunch, we went out to the Dalai Lama's summer palace. The grounds there are huge, and I ended up hanging out with a couple of people at a relaxing koi pond:
Summer Palace Koi Pond

I didn't actually go into any of the buildings there, but relaxing on the premises of the palace was exactly what I was looking for at the time.

We had dinner at the Mad Yak restaurant, where we had some Tibetan food. One dish was sheep lung, but most of the rest was yak-based in some way. I have not yet acquired a taste for yak butter tea (which doesn't taste much like tea, and does taste like a bit of butter dissolved in hot water). There was a show with dinner, and the opening number was dancing yaks:
Dancing Yaks

Our first stop this morning was to Drepung Monastery, which is about 10 miles outside of Lhasa and at one point was the largest Buddhist Monastery in the world. (There used to be around 10000 monks living there, but now there are only around 700.) The view from the monastery is incredible, since it's built on the side of a mountain, and if I lived there I'm sure I would be admiring the view like this:
Monk at Drepung Monastery

Our next stop was at a Tibetan carpet shop. It was pretty cool to see how they made the carpets by hand, especially since I've got some back home. The interior of the shop reminded me of shopping for rugs back when I was decorating my apartment in New York, although with rugs only in Tibetan styles that I don't like all that much. Still, they were beautiful, and I admire the work and craftsmanship that goes into them.

Just outside the shop was a wall full of prayer wheels:Prayer Wheels

Tibetan Buddhists believe that spinning the prayer wheels clockwise will send prayers up to heaven, and they walk along the wall spinning the wheels so they can send many prayers up.

Our next stop was at the Jokhang Temple. It's the first Buddhist temple built in Tibet, and has the most venerated Buddha statue in all of China. Unfortunately, pictures aren't allowed in the temple, so I can't share that image. The view from the roof is a nice view of Lhasa from the middle of town (although I don't like how my pictures turned out.)

After spending some time at the temple, we were let loose at Barkhor Square, just outside the temple. It's the site of a huge street market:
Market off of Barkour Square

I'm amazed that there are so many stalls selling so many of the same things and they all stay in business, but if you look closely you can occasionally find unique stalls. One stall outside of a dental shop displayed golden teeth; one member of our tour said that he had seen them performing dental work through the window yesterday.

After dinner, a group of us went out for a Tibetan foot massage. Only the first 45 minutes concentrated on the feet; the rest covered the rest of the body. We got split up into two rooms, the men in one room and the women next door. The women massaging us were adamant that we drink the green tea they had provided, and the one massaging me eventually got to just hitting my feet when she had decided I hadn't been drinking enough tea.

After the massage a group of us went out to a Tibetan folk music bar. I don't think a photograph would have done it justice even if I had my camera with me, but hanging out over a couple of beers, listening to Tibetan folk music while chatting with friends from the tour is one of those memories that's going to stick with me for a very long time.

This morning was a bit hectic: we had a very early flight, and had to deal with getting through a customs line where the customs agent had decided that our group was so large that our visas each had to be checked individually. I'm not entirely sure that makes sense: apparently, if the group had been a smaller group, the whole group would have been let through. Of course, the lists weren't in alphabetical order, so things took a while, and the last people were let on the plane as the doors were closing.

Everybody made it to Lhasa, though. It was refreshing to see blue sky and clear air for the first time since arriving in China. Even in the countryside it has been pretty hazy. I think Lhasa is the first Chinese city I've been in where it's possible to see the mountains outside the city limits:
Lhasa

Since I spent most of the day in the hotel acclimatizing myself to the altitude, today didn't have too many photos. So aside from the above picture from a hotel room window and this one of the hotel lobby I don't have much to offer:
Lhasa Hotel Lobby

For dinner I ended up going out with a couple of other ex-Mudders who weren't on the tour. We ended up at an Indian restaurant on Barker's Square which was quite good. As much as I'm enjoying the tour group, it was nice to get away for a little while.

This morning didn't have the sunrise I was hoping for: instead, it was pouring
rain when we woke up at 5:10 in the morning. Rather than suffer through a
breakfast of eggs, bread, and jam, a couple of friends and I decided to make
some noodles at our room. Even using only about a fifth of the spice packet,
it was still pretty spicy, but I didn't really want to overdo it at breakfast.

We then headed down the mountain. I'm amazed at the speed the bus drivers
take those turns, and especially amazed at how they do things like pass on
blind corners (they honk so people know they're coming.)

Our first stop of the day was at a silk brocade factory:

Silk Loom

The embroidery here didn't impress me as much as one of our previous stops,
but the looms were still pretty impressive.

We later stopped at an old shrine, the only such to commemorate both an emperor
and a prime minister. Unfortunately, while I was busy admiring the grounds,
the tour guide was marching on ahead, so I didn't get too much of the story,
but I've just about reached my saturation point for Chinese history, so it was
definitely the right tradeoff for me to make. In one of the courtyards, there
were little statues scattered around of animals and fruits:

Pomegranate Statue

The next stop was at a tea factory. I didn't end up buying any tea, but we
tasted 4 different kinds. The demonstation was quite impressive:

Tea Preparation

One woman was lecturing to us in Chinese about tea as one of our guides
translated. The woman seated at the table was busily brewing tea the whole
time, while two additional women poured and distributed the tea. And of
course, after the presentation, everything we tasted was available for
purchase.

Dinner tonight was advertised as "western" cuisine, which wasn't something
that appealed to me (or a few others) so we ended up going out to a hot pot
restaurant. This is one where they heat a pot of broth in the middle of the
table, and then bring various things (raw meats, vegetables, noodles) to
throw in to the pot to cook. We didn't really know what we were doing, but
the wait staff was intent on helping us out. The full meal, including drinks,
ended up costing less than six dollars a head, and was quite delicious.

Hot Pot

It turned out that "western" in this case meant western Taiwanese, in spite of
the fact that this isn't what the guides advertised it to be, so the rest of
the group's meal ended up being somewhat interesting as well. Still, having a
little adventure where they didn't speak a lick of English was well worth it.